For those of you with a life partner, what do you love most of all about that person?
Welcome back to the Three E’s to a Marvellous Marriage. So far, we’ve considered Exclusiveness and Expression. Our challenge is to be Exclusive with our mate; make spouse first in our life; to love our lover more than we love ourselves. At the same time, we seek to Express our love to our mate. That means listening to their heart, how do they experience love, and then acting on it. Now for our last E to a Marvellous Marriage: Excitement.
When we are courting and newly married, we are flush with romantic love; infatuation mixed with some steamy passion. We stay up all night talking on the phone, impulsively buy a dozen roses or run away for the weekend. These exciting feelings are normal and natural and they serve a purpose – to develop deeper intimacy with your mate. The infatuation that comes with courting and even early marriage ensures your attention is absorbed by your partner; you are Exclusive. You want your mate to know she is first in your life so at every opportunity you are affirming and loving; you overflow with Expression. Your relationship overflows with excitement. Does it last?
Over time, life becomes routine, there are bills to pay, possibly children to raise… our Excitement wanes. A friend told me how happy she was that she was married. She said, “I was worried I would have to keep up that fitness thing forever.”
While we have responsibilities and it’s not realistic to maintain the infatuation high, you can still have Excitement in your relationship and it doesn’t require huge amounts of time or money. What it needs is for you to be intentional. Shut off the idiot box (you really won’t miss anything), skip a meeting and go for lunch, put down the iPad (well, after you finish this blog). Have a picnic in your living room. Just go for a walk together. You get the idea.
It’s not going to be easy. Everything good takes time, faith and work. Love is worth it. Your marriage is worth it. Your spouse is worth it. You are worth it. Now go build your Marvellous Marriage!