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~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Tag Archives: Lust

A Modest Proposal

29 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, relationships

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Bible, christianity, fatih, Lust, modesty, Rape Culture

A friend pointed me towards an article concerning modesty. It shifted my thinking and I want to recommend it as a must read, particularly for Christians.

Here are some highlights but please click the link and read the whole thing:

“No one really knows what “immodest” means. It puts the responsibility for a man’s lust and fantasies squarely on the shoulders of women.” 

“Many conferences and books have even gone so far as to name women the “gatekeepers” of sexuality. He will go as far as you let him, the narrative goes. Wow! This a staggeringly unhealthy narrative to promote to our children about the way sexuality works, and plays directly into the hands of a rape culture such as the one in which we live: if you are a female and ever get catcalled, abused, molested, raped, or any number of other sexual advances, you are probably at least partially to blame. What were you wearing? What did you say to him? Did you bend over to pick something up? Was your perfume too sensual?”

Putting modesty/immodesty on women and saying they are gatekeepers of men’s behaviour “…grants men and boys amnesty from the responsibility of their own sexual choices.

“Not only does Jesus say nothing about female culpability in a man’s fantasies, he absolutely destroys any excuses a man might make about his inability to control his own urges. No, Jesus says, a man’s culpability begins and ends with his own dang eyes and right hand.”

Wow. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Good Lust

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Abuse, Adultery, Anger, commandments, Compasssion, Jesus Christ, Love, Lust, marriage, Passion

Whenever I’ve been around a conversation that includes the topic of lust I have noticed that at least one person will ask, “Isn’t a little lust a good thing?”

I get where they are coming from. From what they say, they typically mean that between partners, it’s good to have some passionate desire for each other. That’s certainly true. The thing is, that’s not what lust means.

Lust is when we have a desire and we want to use another person to satisfy it. It’s selfishness because we put our needs above the other’s needs, it’s objectifying the other, dehumanizing them. It’s an abuse. With that understanding, asking “Isn’t a little lust a good thing?” is similar to asking, “Isn’t a little abuse a good thing?”

When Jesus was showing us our deep need for healing, he pointed out that adultery isn’t just a physical offence but begins in the heart and concerns how we treat or mistreat others. When we lust after another person, even if we don’t or can’t follow through with a physical act, we’ve already done the worst of it – reduced the person to just a thing to satisfy our needs.

How do you know if you are loving or lusting; passionate for your spouse or objectifying them? To me, the simple test is asking how you feel when your partner is unable or unwilling to participate. If you feel angry or annoyed with your lover, rather than compassionate towards them, you were probably lusting rather than loving.

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