I found this interesting post on the Facebook page Recovering from a Relationship with a Narcissist. The post was speaking to a partner of a narcissist but for this summary I made it generic – partner, sibling, child. I recommend you read the whole post.
- The narcissist won’t change. To change you need to acknowledge your issues but narcissists don’t have issues – only other people have issues.
- Forget about trying to have boundaries. If you try to enforce your boundaries, the narcissist will pout generally make your life miserable because narcissists are all about power over you and having control. Note that the narcissist NEVER apologizes, at least not sincerely
- You will live in a “no win” situation. Narcissists are not about “win-win” but sees the world in terms of winners and losers.
- The narcissist will begin or continue to bad mouth/gossip about you to their friends to create “flying monkeys” – people who take their side – and destabilize your support systems/self-care/recover
- You’ll need to develop a high tolerance for toxic behaviour AND THEN, watching the narcissist fool everyone, in public, into thinking how nice they are.
The author concluded with this: “The question we all face is whether we are up for all this. It’s important to honestly face the truth when you make a decision. When I finally did, 20 years in, and I realized the narcissist would never change, I made the decision to get out.”